5 Ways to Save On Your Wedding Reception Drinks

One of the highest costs of most wedding receptions is the bill for drinks. You can save money in lots of ways, whether you're supplying your own alcohol, having an open bar, or paying for corkage through your venue. Here are the top five ways to save money on reception drinks.

1. Have a bar

When you have a bar at your reception, limit how much you spend on alcohol. The bartender will let your guests put drinks on your tab until you reach the limit, after which point they'll need to pay for their own drinks.

You can contact the manager at the venue you're using or if you’re doing your own thing, ask a local bar to set up a bar at your reception.

2. Figure out the corkage costs

Bringing your own wine and champagne can be a money-saver, but make sure you know the corkage costs. Buying cheaper wine could end up saving you no money at all once the venue adds corkage, so sometimes it's easier and maybe even cheaper to buy drinks through the venue.

3. Think of creative ways to negotiate corkage

Most venues make their profits off from alcohol, so corkage costs on beer and wine can be very high. Bringing the drinks yourself will probably cause the venue to add a lot of corkage so they can still profit. If this happens to you, try something creative.

Figure out exactly how corkage is charged. Wine may be charged differently from champagne and spirits, and different sized bottles may have different costs. Once you know all this, you may be able to find a creative way to pare down the corkage costs.

One way to do this might be to buy big bottles of wine or magnums of champagne because the fewer bottles you use, the lower the corkage will be. You can even have a cocktail hour, as this also means you'll open less bottles. Besides, cocktails are interesting and different from most receptions.

4. Sale and return

Many wine merchants, such as Majestic Wine, and supermarkets, like Sainsburys, Tesco, and Waitrose, will allow you to buy plenty of wine and then return the unopened bottles. This way, you don't have to pay for alcohol you didn't use. You may even get free glass hire thrown in.

5. Limit the drink options

Lots of choices at the bar costs lots of money, so limit how many types of drinks you will serve. If you have a full bar set up, you'll have to open lots of different bottles, and you may not even use more than a bit of each. Unless you limit the spirits that are used at the bar, people will ask for all kinds of off-the-wall drinks, and your bill at the end of the night will be out of your budget.

One creative way to limit options without seeming stingy is to create a signature drink for your reception. A cocktail or punch can stretch the alcohol a bit further, and you can also simply offer wines and beers for the whole evening. Less variety means a lower drinks bill.

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Important Steps to Getting Over a Married Man

Any woman who has been involved in an affair will tell you that getting over someone married is not as easy as it may seem. Many girls get involved with married men when they know that they will not be in a relationship forever. However, this does not make it any easier when the time finally comes when you have to part ways with the married man you were involved with. You should therefore be aware of some of the necessary steps to getting over a married man so that you can manage to get on with your own life.

The following are some of the measures that will help you in getting over a married man and be able to form a more stable relationship later in life.

Avoid any romantic relationships for a while

While this step is important when you are dealing with the break-up of any type of romantic relationship, it is even more important when you are dealing with getting over a married man. You should stop getting involved with any other guy for the time being. During this time, you should determine what you would really like to get in a guy.

What were the things that drew you to the married man?

There are very many reasons that drive girls to start relationships with married men, and you should determine what your real reasons were. For instance, it could simply be that you enjoyed the challenge that such a relationship brought. Or it could be that you wanted the security of someone who could not make any serious commitment. Could it be that you truly loved him? Understanding the underlying reason will help you in getting over a married man more easily.

Determine what a relationship means to you

Relationship involves two people, and you need to find out the things that you would like to get in a relationship. This is something that you need to deal with in order to help you in getting over a married man and in forming another relationship later on. You will have better chances of success.

Enjoy your time alone

Although any romantic relationship is emotionally taxing, it is more so when you are dealing with getting over a married man. For instance, it is easier to receive the support of the people who are close to you if you break up with a single guy. However, since some of your friends and family members will frown upon your relationship with a married man in the first place, the needed support will be difficult to come by. Even if they did not know of the relationship, you will most likely feel guilty about sharing your 'little secret'.

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Marriage Counseling - Advice On How To Save Your Marriage & Fix Your Relationship

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Recovering From Infidelity - How To Get Over Being Angry At Your Spouse For Cheating

It's devastating to find out that the person you love has stepped outside the marriage and had an affair. Understandably you feel anger and resentment toward your spouse for betraying you, and you have every right to your angry feelings. Anger has its place, but left uncontrolled it can create more problems for you and your marriage. That is why breaking the cycle of anger in your relationship is so important when you are recovering from infidelity in your marriage.

Before you even begin to learn how to cope with and manage your angry feelings, you first need to explore why you are holding on to your anger in the first place. Is it because you want your cheating spouse to know how much he has hurt you? Or perhaps you want him to accept full responsibility for the pain his behavior caused and for him to be genuinely remorseful about it? This is not asking too much, after all you were made to look like a fool and so you want assurances from your spouse that this is not going to happen again.

But continually being angry with your spouse is not going to move you forward toward healing your relationship and recovering from infidelity. In fact it will have the opposite effect because your spouse will become defensive, withdraw and most likely attack you back. Agreed that it was your spouse who behaved in just an abominable manner, but if you decide to stay with him and rebuild your marriage, then you have to learn how to manage those angry feelings.

At the same time you just can't pretend that everything is peachy in your marriage. So you have to find ways to express your hurt. You need to be able to communicate your pain to your spouse by opening and maintaining the lines of communication with him. Meaning that you have to put your hurt feelings and your resentments out there without blaming your spouse. This is not going to be easy and you may find that you need the help of an objective third party like a marriage counselor to get going.

Recovering from infidelity is a very complex issue, and that is why most of the time you need some type of outside help to get through it successfully. Anger and resentment are not going to go away by themselves. You have to actively work at letting go of your feelings.

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The Many Benefits Of Marriage

Singles enter into marriage for many reasons. One of the major reasons is love. However, many people enter into marriage because of other reasons which are basically benefits of marriage. You have a lot to gain with a married status. There are legal benefits, emotional as well as economic benefits. On economic benefits, when you sign the marriage certificate, you become entitled to properties and assets of your partner. Therefore, it can be a way to acquire so much without ever working for it. If you get married to a person who is rich, you will definitely upgrade your status. It does not matter whether you signed a prenuptial agreement or not. The fact that you are enjoying daily comforts is an enough benefit. Economic benefits of marriage have led many singles to be choosy when it comes to marriage. Many have gone into marriage for this reason alone. Everyone has the right to choose the partner they marry and, if they happen to be economically sound, count you lucky. Away from material things, there are emotional benefits of marriage. This falls in the category of love and companionship.

When you know that you can count on someone to be there for you, you get a lot of confidence in life. This is mainly because man was created to be a social being. The need to love and be loved is great and, for our joy to be full we get married to the people we cherish. This has got to be one of the most significant benefits of marriage. The other benefit is the ability to bring up children in the best way. Children brought up in a family with a mother or father will grow up in the ideal way. There are so many single parents who would wish this for their children. Therefore, marriage is a benefit in this sense. Sex is a factor that we should consider. Christians and other religious groups raise their singles to recognize legal sex as belonging to the institution of marriage. Therefore, when they get married, they get to enjoy this right which they benefit from. Many people get married for intimacy and there is nothing wrong with this.

There are a host of legal benefits that come your way when you are married. Married couples in the United States have the right to the following. Joint parenting, joint adoption, joint insurance policies, inheritance where there is no will, domestic violence protection and many others. In total, married people have 1,400 state and federal rights and benefits. Therefore, if you are the kind of person who does not regard marriage, think of all the benefits and, you might change your mind. Also, there are positions at certain working places that can only be filled by married people. It adds on to your personality and character. For example, imagine Barrack Obama promising to address issues of average families, if he was single. The fact that he has a family makes many Americans relate and appreciate him more. When you find the right person to marry, go for it; you have a lot to gain.

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How To Save My Marriage - Learn How To Save Your Marriage

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Children's Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.

Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force the other to change and stop being different.

The matter of disciplining children can be the source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what the appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed the other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.

To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve the differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt the approach as listed below:

1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on the children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and the divorce structure of the family.

2. Come to some meeting of the minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.

3. Discuss with your former spouse your preferences for discipline to see if there is an opportunity for consistency across households.

4. In areas where there is an opportunity for consistency across households, make an agreement with your former spouse that whatever approaches are agreed upon, both of you will be consistently using the same when the children are with you.

5. Write the agreements down, review them and be sure they are workable.

6. In areas in which you differ, find a compromise that you both can live with and stick by it.

7. Set clear expectations for the children at each home. Explain to the children that there are certain rules at mom's house and certain rules at dad's house.

8. Never argue in the front of the children about disagreements in discipline approaches.

Help your children know where they stand in their behaviors. Get resolve your differences in matters of children's discipline. Support each other.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author's information and web link are included at the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email. Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so long as they do not distort or change the content of the article.

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The (Super) Low-Budget Wedding Reception

You may have started out with what you thought was a reasonable wedding budget, but quickly discovered that it wasn’t enough, leaving you raiding your savings to make up the shortfall. But you can have a low budget wedding without demolishing your savings or leaving you drowning in debt.

Firstly, planning the wedding yourselves will save you a huge chunk of cash. Hiring a wedding planner or coordinator can be very expensive, so ask yourselves if they can achieve anything that you yourselves cannot. Keeping a record of all your wedding planning will also make for a lovely family keepsake in years to come. You can gain huge satisfaction from the fact that you have created your dream wedding, from favors to flowers & cake to catering, all yourselves.

Producing a super-low budget wedding can take time & energy & a lot of creativity on your part, but you will reap the rewards when you realize the huge amount of money you have saved. This can then be invested in something more permanent in your lives, such as a house deposit or new car.

Having a lower budget doesn’t mean that your costs will break any different to having a pricier ‘do’. There will still be scope to save money in every element of your wedding, but in order to do this you must do one thing - avoid the grand, formal wedding.

So where do you begin to cut costs? Firstly you should realize what the most important part of the day is to you both. This should be the ceremony & the actual ‘getting married’ part. If it isn’t then I would seriously think about whether or not getting married is right for you both! One way you could reduce costs quite significantly is to forgo the wedding reception & instead have an intimate dinner party with family & friends after a simple civil ceremony. Plan to renew your wedding vows in the future & at a time when you could afford a larger, more formal affair. Renewing your vows is a popular trend at the moment & it would be a very romantic way to mark a milestone or anniversary in your relationship. I would suggest you seriously consider this, particularly if you are footing the entire wedding bill yourselves & the idea of beginning married life saddled with debt horrifies you.

However, for many their wedding is the biggest day of their lives & they want to splurge on a big day. So if you’re budget is saying ginger beer rather than fine champagne then you will need to conjure up some magic if you don’t want to break your budget. If you’re prepared to try every trick in the book then here’s an idea that could save you a fortune.

Focus on the Venue

An extravagant wedding reception will break your budget on its own, if you are not careful & rein your idea in. One of the most obvious ways to save money would be to edit the guest list down. You may also discover that your choice of venue will cost you a hefty sum, especially when all the essential ‘extras’ are added to the bill. Take some time to find & secure a venue that is free or as good as (after taking into account rental costs for chairs, tables etc).

Examples of a ‘free’ location would be your home or if that isn’t big enough, that of a family member or close friend. Another option would be hiring a church or community hall. These are usually very cheap to rent & can provide you with adequate kitchen facilities for preparing & serving food.

Ask around local eateries & see if they will offer a low cost wedding reception package. These could include food & a limited amount of beverage, or rental of a function room with the option of a reception package.

Your venue will the key to saving a large portion of your budget, so it will pay to thoroughly research all your options. Ask family & friends for recommendations, check out the internet & local press. Look at unusual venues such as gardens, museums & vineyards as they may be able to offer you a low cost reception package.

Keep a record of all your findings, including the venue, package options & cost. This way you will be able to work out which venue will offer you the best package for your money. Remember, the cheapest option may not be the best. Paying a little extra could get you twice as much as the cheapest option was offering.

Beating the Biggest Budget-Buster of All

Sadly, in today’s world the mention of one of two words is likely to push costs sky high - they are wedding & baby. Commercialism is a massive part of the wedding industry today, with the majority of vendors hiking their prices for weddings because they assume you will naturally want to spend a huge amount of cash for such a special occasion. Often this means that you will actually be paying over the odds for something. Test my theory out by contacting a large venue & asking about their wedding reception packages, then ring back & ask about packages for a milestone birthday party. I bet the packages are virtually identical with the exception of the price!

An example of this is the catering for your wedding. The cost of feeding your guests can be more than the hire of the venue itself, so getting a good deal here & cutting the cost down is really a must.

However, a few ham sandwiches & cocktail sausages will not suffice. Your guests will more likely leave before the speeches & will slate your wedding day for all eternity! One solution for those with a minute budget is to throw a potluck reception. In essence you ask your guests to bring along a dish instead of a wedding gift. It may sound absurd, but a potluck reception was once quite the done thing & is more traditional than the bride & groom forking out for expensive catering & 3 course menus. They are also the best way to throw a fabulous party & have your guests leave feeling sustained.

If you are somewhat embarrassed about asking your guests to ‘feed themselves’ then dress it up as the ‘Old Time, Traditional Wedding Celebration’. This naturally suits a potluck reception & no-one would think to question it.

Continue the theme in your decorations, flowers & favors, look to the 1920’s, 30’s or 50’s which are all in vogue at the moment, but fit the traditional theme nicely.

So how do you go about asking your guests to bring a dish with them? Well, you could slip a note in with the invitation, such as this:

Our reception will be an “Old Time Traditional Celebration” with a potluck dinner.

____ Please check here if you would like to bring a dish for the reception in place of a wedding gift.

We kindly request a call for dish suggestions.

Ask them to call you & let you know what dish they plan to bring. This way you will still have some say over the menu & can avoid any over duplicating on dishes. Incidentally, no one is obliged to participate but you could be surprised by how many will. It is also likely that many of your guests will go to town & will create some fabulous, unusual & extravagant dishes to grace your tables. You may also find an element of competition arising between guests, as to who produces the best & most talked about dish on the day! Just make sure it doesn’t get out of hand!

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★ Marriage Help for Men to Save Marriage and stop divorce ★

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Relationship Advice: The Danger of the Routine

Remember the early days of your dating relationship? What a time you both had. It seemed like every moment you got together it was music, fun and excitement. Some of your family and friends even hated to see you coming because the two of you were so into each other it made people nauseous. You are probably right when you say they were just jealous. And guess what? Neither one of you could have cared less. The relationship was fresh, spontaneous and exhilarating.

And then it happened. You cannot quite put your finger on when exactly it took place but it happened. Whether it occurred sometime after you got married or six months into your dating relationship is inconsequential. All you know is the music, fun and excitement went on permanent vacation. What took their place? The routine.

One of the mains reasons many couples get blind sided by the routine is the seduction of familiarity. You naturally want to become well acquainted with the other person in the hopes that it leads to greater intimacy between the two of you. That is the point of relationships. Unfortunately, familiarity also inspires a certain amount of self-satisfaction. In other words consciously or unconsciously, many couples tell themselves the prize has been won so there is no need to continue the game.

While some people do not consider this a big deal, in essence it is a planted seed that can spell trouble somewhere down the road. It is only a hop, skip and a jump from familiarity to routine to dissatisfaction.

Now there is no question that your relationship is going to have certain amount of routine due, in some part to circumstances beyond your control; for instance your work schedules may only allow the two of you to get together on specific days and times. However there are things you can do to keep the relationship fresh:

1. The Thrill of the Impulsive

When your relationship was just starting out, spontaneity ruled. The two of you did not even think twice about hopping into a car and going to places you had never been or trying out a new restaurant with food you never heard of. There was something thrilling and wonderful about not knowing what you were getting into yet still having the courage to explore anyway.

Routine tells you to be rational and self conscious. What if people are looking or you run into someone you both know? The answer is "who cares?" Sure being spontaneous may not work out every time but do it anyway and go with the flow. Unplanned adventures big or little have a way of adding excitement and in many cases some serious laughs to the relationship which is very healthy and great way to reconnect.

2. It is Not Your Birthday

Or anniversary or any other major routine event but do not let that stop you from buying small gifts for each other. In fact you can just as easily create your own special days. It could be the anniversary of your third date or the time you both laughed through the worst movie you ever saw. Occasionally giving a small gift for no particular reason lets the other person know that they are always in your heart.

3. Date Again

Not just going out to dinner either because that also can become routine. Instead plan a time outside of your normal schedules and treat it like you did during the early days of the relationship. Get yourselves spruced up. Go at it with the mindset that you are making every effort to make a good impression. Having a special time together at least once a week can throw a beautiful monkey wrench into the routine machine. .

It is nothing out of the ordinary for a relationship to lose some of its zing over time. The problem comes when couples accept the routine as normal and do not do anything to restore the excitement and unpredictability they once had. You can always reverse the process by being spontaneous, give small gifts for no reason other than to let the other person know you love them and start dating again like it is the first time. This all requires constant effort but the payoff of an exciting relationship is well worth it.

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How to save my Marriage after I Cheated advice for Men

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How To Tell If Your Wife Is Cheating � 4 Simple Ways How To Tell If Your Wife Is Cheating

There are a few simple ways how to tell your wife is cheating. You don't have to jump through hoops or become a super sleuth in order to get through to the truth of the matter.

Then, why does it seem so hard for some men to figure out their wives are cheating if it's really so simple to find out? To be perfectly honest, it's because there are a lot of men who don't really want to know their wives are cheating on them. If you're one of these men you may ask how to tell your wife is cheating but you're not really going to take the steps or ask the questions to find out for sure because you're just not ready to hear the truth.

If you really want to know how to tell if your wife is cheating, these are the signs you need to look for.

1) Your wife has started coming home from shopping trips empty handed. Guys, there aren't many powers on earth that will have your wife leave a shopping trip without at least a pair of shoes to show for her efforts. If she's suddenly going on shopping trips and not bringing home a few goodies from the excursion, the odds are good that she's been doing something other than shopping. Since she's not being honest about what she is doing, it's fairly safe to assume the worst.

2) She's stopped inviting you to go with her whenever she leaves the house. Most wives enjoy the company of their husbands and many of them aren't all that interested in shopping, going to movies, or even visiting museums alone. If your wife suddenly sprouts the wings of an independent streak and doesn't seem to want you coming along there might be a little something for you to worry about.

3) Has she changed her phone habits? If your wife is like many women, her cell phone may at times seem to be perma-glued to her ears. If she isn't talking, she seems to be texting. The problems arise when her habits change and she stops hiding her cell phone activity from you. Is she leaving the room to take calls? Is she covering up and hiding text messages and/or erasing them immediately? This is yet another signs of a cheating wife.

It isn't always the difficult things that reveal the truth. Sometimes it's the little things, like these, that are the simplest ways how to tell your wife is cheating.

You don't have to lose your wife after she's cheated on you. I have made a video just for you that shows what you need to do to get your ex back if you have.

Please watch my free video: http://www.getyourexbacknow.com/just_break_up3.html that explains exactly what you need to do to save your marriage.

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Remarriage Can Be Magic

Remarriage is tricky. Actually, marriage of any kind is tricky. To have a healthy marriage or remarriage, you need to develop many skills and have great determination to succeed.

Remarriage, though, has far more challenges than a first marriage. The good news, though, is that if you can get past those challenges, remarriage can be magic!

Here are five ways you can create a magical remarriage.

1. Remarriages often don’t work because of all the baggage that the couple brings into the marriage with them. A person who has been divorced usually has more hurt, anger and fear than a person who is getting married for the first time. A person whose spouse has died, has grief and often guilt or anger to contend with. All of this emotion comes into the new marriage right along with the couple.

To have a great remarriage, you need to be aware of the baggage as you go into your new marriage, and you need to accept it. Awareness and acceptance combined have amazing powers to heal. Start with awareness and acceptance, and you can resolve old emotional issues to pave the way for a great remarriage.

2, Second marriages often include children from previous marriages or relationships. These children can cause problems in remarriage, but they don’t have to. Although parenting someone else’s child can be one of life’s biggest challenges, it can be done. And it can also be fun.

The trick is to know ahead of time, before the second marriage, how you’re going to handle the logistics of joint parenting with an ex. Include the children in this discussion. Be clear on what everyone’s expectations are—know what the stepparent wants and can do, what the parent wants and can do, and what the children want and can do. When you lay out a family plan, you can create a wonderful blended family.

3. Ex spouses can be an obstacle to successful remarriage. If a previous divorce wasn’t amiable, an ex-spouses resentment can create all kinds of problems for a second or third marriage. Ex spouses can file lawsuits accusing all kinds of manufactured crimes, they can demand money, and they can poison children with their hatred and anger.

To keep an ex from ruining your second marriage, first, be sure you have the resources to have a good lawyer at your disposal. Second, make sure your new spouse knows what to expect from the ex. Third, do everything possible to diffuse your ex’s anger. Don’t engage in rehashing of your ended marriage. Avoid engaging in shouting matches with an ex. Allow your ex to feel what he or she feels and simply focus on dealing with whatever issue is at hand; leave old issues where they belong—in the past. When you do all of this, you can leave your ex-spouse out of the picture and focus on a great remarriage.

4. To have a wonderful remarriage, you need to keep your focus on THIS marriage, not on past ones. When you’ve been married before, you have a benchmark of marriage in mind. If the last marriage was awful, that benchmark won’t cause much problem.

If your previous marriage was good in any way, however, you might find yourself comparing your new spouse to your old spouse. Don’t do this. Telling your new spouse, for example, that he isn’t as good in bed as an ex is a surefire way of killing a second marriage. Telling a spouse that he doesn’t drive as well, cook as well, think as well, or do anything as well as a previous spouse dooms remarriage to failure.

Don’t EVER compare your current spouse to a previous one. In ANY way. In fact, you’ll do best if you don’t discuss a previous spouse at all unless you mention him or her in passing when sharing a memory of being someplace or doing something. To create a magical remarriage, think only about the remarriage.

Keep these tips in mind, and you can have a happy and successful, perhaps even magical, remarriage.

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Stop my Divorce and Save my Marriage Today

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Why Do We Hurt Those We Love Most And How To Stop This

You love each other but can’t manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love?

How come we can’t express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again.

How to stop this infernal behavior?

First let me explain why this happens.

We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition…

We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society.

But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human beings, we will get caught up in struggle. Because human energy is limited. We have to fight for it. Human energy doesn’t last. There isn’t enough of it. So we have to be the quickest, the smartest, the most beautiful one, to attract the attention from the other and to pull his energy.

If this doesn’t work, we try another strategy. We try to pull attention by negative behavior. Every child learns this very quickly in his early life : when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mum goes on cooking dinner or talking with daddy. But as soon as the kid hurts his little sister or is playing “sick”, mums hurries to give attention to him. She shouts maybe, she’s angry or worried, but no matter, all this is attention for the child! He learns very quickly which behavior gives him the greatest amount of attention and energy. When his mother or father looks at him, even angry, it still is energy coming his way! When they shout at him, they give him energy. Negative energy, alright, but it is better than no energy at all.

When we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon : when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy (read : attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. The other person gives us freely and abundantly a whole bunch of energy. We don’t even have to ask for it, we don’t need to apply any strategy to pick this energy, it’s all for free! We let go of our mechanism to pull the energy of others towards us. We loosen up. We “fall” in love. We almost literally fly. We are high! Everything seems to have more colour, is more vivid, we feel lighter, life seems easy, everything goes by itself, we have the feeling we love everybody and everything, even our grunchy boss! Nothing can hurt us, we feel safe and boosted with energy. But this is his or her energy! We are flying on someone else’s energy, and human energy is limited!

And that is exactly the problem! This stream of free energy begins to slow down, because the other one goes back to his business and activities he had before. Why? The body is not able to handle this amount of adrenaline for a long period of time, they say… but the real reason is we need to learn to pull our energy from somewhere else, not from a human being but from the source of energy itself.

So our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this energy-flow and now we have to do it again by ourselves! Free energy is so much easier! We don’t have to do any effort to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don’t want to let this happen. At this moment our old childhood-system of capturing energy is triggered because of the scarcity of energy (there is an alarm inside us that says : “Danger! Lack of energy!”) and the old mechanism to capture energy from others starts running in our head and in our behavior. The mechanism that worked when we were a child to get the energy of our parents, will be triggered by the lack of energy now. We do what we did as a child to get energy flowing our way.

We can do this by playing the victim (“Oh poor me, look at all that I do and nobody is grateful! Look how good I am and still life strikes me with disapproval, disease and misery! Oh oh oh!”). Or we get attention by being aggressive, shouting and trying to dominate the other one. A third mechanism is harassing the other one by asking too many questions and controlling him. A fourth system is playing silence, refusing contact, not to speak and not to react, so the other one will do whatever he can to get in contact with you again and this will give you his energy.

These systems will of course make the energy of the other one flowing your way. But what next? The other one is now low on energy and wants to get his energy back. So now his mechanism is triggered by his lack of energy. He will now use the system that assured him the energy of his parents when he was little, to get his energy back from you. He will either shout at you, either playing the poor one that didn’t deserve your treatment, either torture you with a bunch of questions, or refuse contact.

This explains why we hurt the ones we love. First reason is we want their energy, energy they gave once for free. We hurt our loved onces most because they gave us love and energy and attention for free in the beginning and now we have to do it on our own and we are angry and want get back to them. We think we are entitled to have their energy still for free and start our mechanism to get it. Second reason we hurt them most is because of convenience : they are always around, their energy is available so when we are low on energy we try to rip their energy off, and hurt them by doing that.

Stealing energy from another human being is hurting him.

What can we do about this? We should only be in contact with other people when we are sure to be already filled up with energy, so we won’t steal theirs. When we are full of energy, and conscious of what happens between people, we can give the other one energy instead of ripping him off. We should not meet each other when we are low on energy. It’s the responsibility of each and every person to generate energy by himself and not to depend on other people.

How to do that? By connecting to the energy that is always available. That is the energy of the Universe. The easiest way to connect to this energy is contemplate the beauty of a flower. You also can contemplate the beauty of an object or a person. You can listen to beautiful music, take a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, anything that gives you energy.

Make a list of every activity and behavior that increases your energy level. As soon as you feel you’re in a conflict with your partner, boss, child, parent or whoever, do something to get yourself together and raise your energy. Don’t say anything until your energy-level is again high enough to be able to send energy to the other one. By sending energy, you are sure not to steal energy from the other one. This is an act of love. If you are not able to get your energy level any higher, go to another place, do something for you and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other one again.

The important thing in a relationship is not to make the other happy or to expect the other one to make you happy, but to make yourself happy and offer this happiness as a free gift to the other!

Loving another human being is giving him energy! See the difference? Do you want to love your loved ones or steal their energy?

Copyright 2006 Ineke Van Lint

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Tips For Better Love Making - The Top 5 Erogenous Zones of a Female

If you're floundering in the bedroom and your girlfriend is moaning for all the wrong reasons, these tips will point you in the right direction.

Gentlemen! If you want to get your girl moaning for real instead of faking it, you're going to have to put a bit of work in. Firstly, a male can achieve orgasm within 2 - 3 minutes when stimulated by another partner. Where as a female can take up to 15 minutes to climax.

If you know for a fact that you can't keep going for that long by pure intercourse alone (and lets face it, if you're doing that, you're having sex, not making love) then you are going to have to stimulate her body with foreplay instead.

Now before you panic and freak out, all of this can be done with your tongue and hands. I guarantee you will become a better lover in the bedroom AND you really will give her orgasm after orgasm.

The top 5 female erogenous zones

The neck

Apart from being sexy and attractive, the female neck is perhaps one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Softly kissing this area from her shoulder to below her ear (while at the same time massaging it with your tongue will send tingles and pulses up and down her spine. Keep at it and she will be breathing heavily in a very short period of time.

The ear lobes

Sucking ear lobes isn't for everyone. Some girls get the tickles when you do it but others simply adore it. While you're there you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact is what she likes so this is a good way to do it if you're fed up with kissing on the lips. Also massaging her ear lobes with your fingers from time to time can be very soothing.

The nipples

On a par with the neck for sensitivity, the female nipples become hard and sit up right when stimulated with your tongue. Don't forget to give both breasts even attention and also kiss down in between her breasts as you work your way between both of them. If she hasn't grabbed your head by this stage and held it into her bosom, something's badly wrong.

The belly button

Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her G spot.

The G Spot

Ah the G spot. This holy grail legend of the female anatomy can be tricky to find. So if the chance arises, ask her if she has already found her G spot and let her point you in the right direction.

As a general guide, most female G spots can be found on the roof of the vagina (that's the side closest to her stomach.). It's about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin and can be found about 4 inches in.

Extreme caution should be taken when stimulating this area with your tongue or fingers as a female can quite literally lose control of her limbs. Don't be surprised if you get kneed in the face or get elbowed as she moans in ecstasy. It should also be noted that not all females have a G spot, so don't be alarmed if you both can't find it. As you have seen there are plenty of other areas of the female body that can be stimulated in the art of love making in order to help her climax.

Doing a combination of all these things will leave her begging for more and you will be a better lover for it. Experimentation is the key to find out what works and what doesn't as everyone is not the same.

As you can see, a true female orgasm involves the stimulation of her whole body and not just simple penetration. Taking the time to show care and attention to her needs will put you so far above any other lovers, she may have had that you may find it tricky escaping from the bed. I know I have ;-)

I hope this article helps your love life get back on track and that you become better and more confident at making love and not just having sex. Above all else, if you want to become a better lover, ask your partner what they like and what they want you to do to them. Not only will you help them get their rocks off quicker, you'll also show that you are thinking about their needs and they in turn will think about yours. This will create a much better experience than if both parties are concentrating on what each can get out of the experience in a very selfish way.

Until next time.

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What Does Your Man REALLY Want?

If there is one question for which every woman wants an answer is what men want. This question crops up in the mind of every woman be it be a teenager going on her first date; a newly wedded wife getting ready for her husband to return from work; a single woman waiting to find the right man; a divorcee trying to rebuild her life.

This question has been asked by women in the past, and will be asked by women in the future too. It is a question that has no easy answers; with each relationship being completely different from another. The best one can do is to explore seven subjects that form the cornerstone of any relationship between men and women. These subjects hold the key for any woman to understand what men want.

1. Sex
What do men want in sex?
How frequent should be lovemaking?
Should it be passionate?
Should women have sex before marriage?

There is little doubt that most men are obsessed with sex. It is a biological need, and men should not be blamed for wanting sex. However, sex alone cannot build a long lasting relationship. It can bring a couple together but it cannot hold them together beyond a certain point.

What a woman must understand is that a man finds happiness and fulfillment in sex. A woman who is willing to reach out and unite in the act of lovemaking is most likely to win a man than a woman who uses sex as a manipulative tool.

Also, men are not ogres. They don’t go to women looking for sex alone. Most of them don’t want their partners to degrade themselves when making love to them. They would rather like all acts of lovemaking to be complete and fulfilling to both.

Men, in fact, agonize more than women if they are unable to excite their partners. This is because men can be easily aroused whereas it takes longer, and more foreplay in the case of women to get aroused.

There is little doubt that a man would like to take a woman to bed as quickly as possible. But few men want to make love if they find their partners are unwilling. Most of them don’t want to hurt or injure the feelings of a woman with whom they have developed a bonding or are in the process of doing so. Also, no man would insist on sex as a prerequisite to marriage.

Yes, every man has his fantasies about sex, and would like frequent and passionate sex with the woman he loves. One-night stands, as the name suggests, are only flings, not relationships.

2. Companionship
What kind of a companion does a man want?
How should women meet those needs?

Men want women with whom they can share their likes and dislikes, their fears and triumphs, their weaknesses and strengths… They want women who can empathize with their failures and revel in their triumphs.

Women who constantly find faults with their men are unlikely to win their love and respect. Every woman must remember that men are vain by nature. They need pampering, and even mothering. At the same time they need emotional fulfillment.

This does not mean that women have to become sports enthusiasts or political analysts to please their men. They only need to provide space to their men to follow their passions.

3. Homemakers
Should women be great cooks to win acceptance?
Should women alone be expected to keep house?
Is it a woman’s job to rear kids?

Today’s men respect the ambitions of women. They don’t want to relegate their wives to the role of a domestic help. They would like their women to do well in life. However, they would not like this to happen at the cost of their own careers.

Most women must realize that every man wants to be the main breadwinner. His male ego gets hurt if he has to depend on his wife to run the home. He would certainly expect his wife to cook for him on at least three to four days a week. He would also expect women to keep the home clean and well kept. The best that a man is willing to do is to extend a helping hand. But the woman has to be the main homemaker.

4. Emotional support
Should women give advice?
Are men open to points of view given by women?

Once again the male ego is too vain. It is not willing to listen easily to the advice given by better halves. Almost every man goes on the defensive when the woman he loves wants to correct him. He may accept the same advice from another male; but would be very reluctant to do so from a woman.

Women should therefore be careful. They should make men feel they can climb Mount Everest, if need be. They must encourage them by constantly telling them how much confidence they have in them. This will bring the best out of every man.

5. Looks matter
Should women doll up for men?
Is a woman’s figure important?
How important is it to dress up especially for men?

Men love beautiful women. They don’t want their woman to look dowdy. This is not only true at the time of dating but even after marriage. Women who allow their figures to slip are likely to loose the interest of their men. This may sound sexist but this is how life is. An attractive woman, who knows how to carry herself, will always turn male heads.

6. Private space
Why do men need time for themselves?
Are they hiding something?
Shouldn’t they share all their thoughts with me?

The best relationships are those where women are willing to wait; where they give time to their men to unwind themselves. They should not rush into their arms the moment they come home, and expect them to unburden themselves. Instead, they should wait for the right time when the man is more ready to share his inner thoughts. Even here, it is important to be patient, and encouraging. Don’t find faults with your man’s thinking; the chances are that he may shut himself off. Each man needs space to sort his thoughts. A woman can help him by being encouraging and understanding.

7. Respect
Do men need more respect than women?
How should a woman behave?

Finally, both men and women need respect if the relationship is to survive. This can only happen if a woman is willing to listen to her man. Also, a woman should respect a man’s interests even though they may be widely different from her. She should allow him necessary space to follow his interests which may be sports, politics or cards.

Women should learn to read between the lines if they want to earn the respect of their men.

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★ Save Marriage from Divorce and Save your Relationship

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★ Save Marriage from Divorce and Save your Relationship

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Use Conflict Resolution to Save Your Marriage

In today’s day and age, we are increasingly challenged with conflicts in our daily life and especially in our marriage. In this article, we will explore a few ways to save your marriage by introducing some useful insights into conflict resolution.

The first and foremost concept to examine, within yourself and your spouse, is your expectations. Have you had a chance to really look into what your expectations are in your marriage? Do you know what they are? Do you think they are reasonable? You can easily surprise yourself with how easily a conflict has been resolved by simply examining your expectations and possibly adjusting them to be more realistic and reasonable.

A simple example of the above is when a spouse expects that their activities have to be done as a couple, e.g., shopping, going out, travel, social gatherings, etc. While this is certainly something meaningful, could this expectation be causing you grief? Are you having trouble with your spouse regarding issues related to this? Then you might want to further explore with the following questions: Is it reasonable for me to expect that? Is that the expectations for couples in my culture? Is that the expectation of my spouse? Does my spouse insist on the same, or do they look for opportunities to do things alone? This is a time for you to sit down and reflect. Remember, you can usually get to the right answer very quickly if you ask yourself empowering questions, instead of the other way around.

Even though one’s expectations are an aspect of communication, let’s explore the latter in more depth. The word communication is literally used everywhere nowadays, and more often than not, poor communication is usually the cause almost all grief. Even if both partners in the marriage have different opinions about something, with the right communication between them, they can simply and respectfully agree to disagree.

To explore this further, experts say that 90% of communication is non-verbal, to which a smaller portion of that goes to your voice intonations and pace, but the major portion of it goes to your beliefs and what goes on in your mind. I bet you weren’t expecting any of this were you?

Let look at an example of how the non-verbal aspect of communication can influence a situation with the same words being said. In the first example, a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers, with the pure intention that he loved this woman so much, he thought what better way to express this love than with flowers? With no other expectations, conditions, requirements, other than just loving, and the husband hands over this bunch and says: “Just because I love you”. How do you think a wife would respond to that?

On the other hand, a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers, but he has a different intention, even though it is true that he loves her, but he also wants to get something for himself and wants to soften her up, and expects something in return for these flowers, and as he hands over the flowers he says: “Just because I love you”. Can you feel the difference between the two?

The examples above, show you that by making simple adjustments between you and yourself, you can dramatically improve the outcomes of your efforts to solve disagreements, and by engaging respect, and open mind, and a willingness to grow together, you’ll be surprised which how deep your love for one another can get, simply by overcoming obstacles, which are really opportunities to grow and expand beyond your current comfort zone to experience higher levels of marital ecstasy.

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Tips For A Happy Marriage

In January 2006, I will be married to my husband for 29 years. I knew him for 2 years before that.

Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till … well you know the rest. But for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life has shrouded its wonderful positive aspects.

Great marriages don’t just happen. You have to do something to make it last. Improve your marriage now. Remember that improvement is not a one-time event. It’s a process, so better start now.

Being happy starts within you. If you can’t be happy with yourself, then there’s no chance that you’ll be happy with someone else.

Be the best that you can be to your spouse.

The Qualities of a Successful Marriage

Love

Love is the most essential component in a relationship. It is the powerful force that binds two unique individuals together. A relationship will not start without love.

Support

Being a supportive spouse can be both a rewarding and a difficult role in a relationship. The most important aspect is being a loving presence always in your spouse’s life. Being supportive means strengthening the partner. You bear the weight. It is quite a responsibility for any one to take on. The sense of responsibility grows deeper when your spouse faces certain problems. To avoid conflict, respect your spouse’s personal decisions. Show that you have faith in your mate. Be the shoulder to lean on. Work together to maintain balance in your life together. Don’t be threatened by your spouse’s accomplishments. Be proud of your spouse’s achievements. If you want to help your spouse to recover from a difficult situation, don’t try to solve it on your own.

Tolerance

The meanings of tolerance in the dictionary are:

1. The power or capacity of an organism to tolerate unfavorable environmental conditions.

2. A disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior.

3. The act of tolerating something.

4. Willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others.

5. A permissible difference; allowing freedom to move within limits.

The given meaning has only one denominator. Patience. Without it, the word tolerance is nothing.

Always remember that it pays to be patient. As the saying goes, patience is a virtue.

Communication

All arguments can be solved through proper communication. If your partner annoys you for things he or she has done consciously or unconsciously, approach your spouse. Talk to each other. Explain that you are offended by that act. Remember that he or she can’t read minds. Don’t try to keep it inside. It will corrupt you. The annoyance will grow in your heart. Don’t wait for it to burst one day. As early as possible discuss the problem with your spouse. If a certain thing bothers you, tell it straight to your spouse. It doesn’t hurt to be straightforward. It is just a choice of words on how you will express yourself.

Realistic Expectations

Don’t expect too much from your spouse. They are also humans bound to commit mistakes.

Caring

Show your spouse that you’re concerned. During lunch, ask him or her if he or she has already eaten. Small simple things can mean a lot to them. Take time to notice your spouse. Say I love you everyday.

Nurturing

Grow with each other. Nurture intimacy. Live together and raise your children.

Sense of Humor

Laugh together. Have fun together. It is healthy to stretch out those lazy lips. Don’t be too serious. Pressures of life? Don’t let it weigh you down. Uplift your spirits high. Don’t take things too seriously. Stop trying to be perfect because no person is. Always put on a happy face! Smile immensely. It can really change the way you and other people feel. Happiness is a choice, so don’t choose to frown. A wrinkle on the face is ugly.

Smiling is considered as one of the fountains of youth. Smile wide. Make the world a brighter place to live in. Don’t forget to laugh and joke around. Be kind and smile at everyone, especially your spouse. If tensions start to grow, smile at him or her.

Laugh out loud. It’s the best medicine in town. Heal your body, mind and soul. Fill your life with laughter so that you won’t have much room left for negative emotions.

Commitment

A happy couple in a happy marriage develops bonding rituals. These become the pillars that hold up the marriage. Show your dedication every day.

Respect

Appreciate each other’s eccentricities and differences, especially as woman and man. Learn to be happily different. Learn to give and take. Practice kindness and politeness with each other in at least 95 percent of your interactions.

Know how to handle conflict

Don’t make things worse by not talking to each other. Look into your spouse’s eye when asking him or her. Don’t delay the conversation for quite a long time. This will only make the conflict worse.

Solve problems together

Resolve arguments rather than letting things fester. Speak up. It will not aggravate the situation.

Interdependence

Learn to reciprocate.

Enjoy one another

Focus on enjoying life. Live a carefree life. Think that your spouse is the one that really matters in this world. Do things together. Excite your relationship by finding new ways to enjoy each other.

Have fun together

Play in the rain together. Isn’t it great to be a child once in a while? Run like a madman while you chase each other in the rain.

If you would like to learn more, you can visit http://www.self-help-motivation-source.com/marriagesecrets.html

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Facebook: A Mine Field for Troubled Relationships

The re-acquaintance of old friends, classmates and distant relatives has been a recent aspect of our new millennium lives. The social network site of Facebook puts us in touch with sometimes hundreds of people from our current lives as well as past lives.

The sites, at first glance, give us an opportunity to "keep in touch" with many past friends, classmates and others on a scale that has never before been available. Recently, Facebook has become the second most clicked site on the internet, only outdone by Google, the number one site on the internet. Some individual's Facebook sites have thousands of pictures and as many friends.

This internet intimacy with so many has led way to what has been described as "internet betrayal" in marriages and relationships of every type. It has become apparent to us in our marriage counseling practice that it is a re-current theme in couple conflicts. Experience from our practice suggests that there are negative aspects to our primary relationships brought on by these networking sites. We decided to share marriage counseling tips with you for the use of Facebook.

The problems typically occurs when past relationships, i.e. boyfriends, girlfriends, H.S. crushes or others contact someone from their past and begin casual conversations and catching up with each others lives. As in most relationship betrayals, it usually starts with several innocent comments or exchanges with some excitement in the re-connection with someone in the past. Perhaps there is some flirting or "testing the waters" of the relationship. Social boundaries seem to more easily evaporate in the discrete environment of cyberspace.

Slowly, the innocent conversations and flirting beckon one to cross the unwritten boundary agreements between someone and their partner. These are the issues that are considered "knowledge for and between partners," and what should be kept between them. Perhaps when one party talks about marriage issues, it becomes easier for the other to openly discuss them as well.

In the context of our real world and real issues, we easily forget that Facebook and other sites most resemble a virtual reality that helps us to communicate with others. When the virtual reality takes over our "real life," and controls our "reality," difficulties usually exacerbate a troubled relationship. Temptations are always available, whether it is in our reality or in our virtual reality.

Here are some marriage counseling tips and questions to ask yourself. Is a social networking site causing problems in your relationship? Examine your purpose for logging in at 2:00 A.M. Do you protect your password for social websites from your partner? Are you having a troubled relationship with your partner and spending more time on Facebook than quality time with your partner? If you answer yes to these questions, you are at higher risk for crossing boundaries that will lead to further relationship discord.

Consider discussions within your relationship about loneliness, commitment, trust and developing common interests and activities. Have frank discussions to evaluate where you are and where you wish to be in your relationship. If you need help in this process consider seeing a professional to help sort out these issues.

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What NOT To Do To Save Your Marriage

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Keeping it Simple

Over the past few months, the concepts of stripping back the superfluous, simplifying and pulling apart the true meaning of integrity have been strong personal themes. For many people, there’s a drive to again inspect old patterns that continue to run happily in the background despite years of self-examination. Perhaps under the direction of a new global energy, there’s a sense of being able to lovingly let go of those things that have served us all well on one level, yet have offered excuses to stay small on another.

I came across Don Miguel Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements” the other day and it strongly resonated with this desire to pare back; to simplify; to become more real as a participant in this world and begin operating in a more authentic way.

With these 4 simple tenets, we could literally change the way we as humans operate in this world. How do they resonate with you? Please feel free to share your thoughts, we’d love to hear from you.

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

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How to Avoid Divorce - Negotiation Techniques to Stop Your Spouse From Filing For Divorce

Couples face problems all the time. Sometimes those problems lead to threats of separation and that's when things really get scary. Find out how to avoid divorce even if your spouse is adamant there's no way you can save the marriage.

When one spouse has it set in their mind that the only solution to their marital problems is divorce, it leaves the other spouse floundering. How can they save their marriage when their spouse won't agree to seek counseling or stop their race to court long enough to sort out their differences? Your spouse may be determined to get out of the marriage and you really want them to stay but it feels like you're trying to stop a speeding freight train with nothing more solid than a piece of tissue paper.

Believe it or not, you can pull out a few tactics that parents, politicians, and business leaders use all the time to encourage people to do something they don't want to do. It's called negotiation.

Negotiation is the act of achieving an agreement with another party. In the case of a potential divorce, your spouse wants out and you don't. While it appears impossible to come to any middle ground, it can be done. The trick is to negotiate not for your spouse to stop the divorce, but to negotiate for time. You want to stall the divorce from being filed so that you can carry out a side strategy for fixing your relationship. Your spouse does not have to know that yet. Focus on getting more time and slowing down any decision to file. It's much easier to get your spouse to agree to just put things off so you can think through all of the details responsibly if they believe you are being cooperative.

How to Avoid Divorce

Agree Divorce May be the Only Answer - If your spouse believes that divorce is the only solution, part of their rush to get it done is that they think you are going to make it difficult for them because they know you disagree. To gain time, let them see you agree with them that the problems in your marriage do appear to be so challenging that your spouse may be right.

This doesn't mean that you say, "Sure, you're right. Go ahead and file." Instead, say something like, "I realize our problems seem impossible and I completely understand why you've decided we should get a divorce." You don't stop there, though. The next statement you make is critical. You follow that statement with something like this, "My only concern is that I've heard about so many couples who lost a fortune because of divorce. We're better than that and I think we could find a way to work together to save ourselves a lot of headache, money, and time." Now, you're giving your spouse a reason to consider slowing down.

Establish a Team Approach - Once you've planted the seed for an alternative, agreeable approach to divorce, build an action plan together. Set the steps the two of you will research in order to find the best solution that allows the divorce to happen without losing a ton of money. For example, decide that you will research mediators together or read the same book on agreeable divorce strategies. Come up with anything that will take a week or two to cover, at the very least. There's a second strategy at play, here. Not only are you buying more time but now you're going to try to come across as an ally, a partner to your spouse. While it might seem counter-intuitive to be making plans for a divorce that you don't want to have happen, you are removing the feeling that you and your spouse are on opposite teams. This can help open the crack you need to start working out marital problems instead of divorce strategies.

Seek Relationship Help - Find a good book or counselor to help you work on your marital problems with the time you have bought yourself. You're rekindling the feeling of being a team with your spouse, now leverage that with some strategies that will show them you are the same person with whom they originally fell in love. If done correctly, your spouse will start to doubt their decision to pursue a divorce.

The more comfortable you make things for your spouse, the less likely they will be to rush their decision. Using negotiation to avoid divorce is a sensible strategy that applies time-tested techniques to a very delicate situation.

How to save my Marriage alone Help

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How respecting your boyfriend can save your relationship

by Sylvher



Truth be told, many girls start off a relationship with respect for her man. However, along the way, as she discovers more imperfections in him, she loses respect for him.



When something disappointing about her boyfriend is discovered, a girl makes a grave mistake (usually on a sub-conscious level), thinking, "I'll wait until he changes THAT thing before I can respect him."



Such a decision is usually the start of an irreversible journey of discoveries of more flaws and problems with the man and a downward spiral towards more resentment, greater dissatisfaction and less fulfilment in the relationship. Thus, these very same girls wait for far too long and the respect that she has tagged to his change never surfaces.



If respect for your boyfriend is tagged to a condition, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. In fact, girls who do that almost always end up breaking off the relationship.



Why wait for him to change? Why not just respect the man in spite of his flaws? Chances are, if you do that, you'll find yourself more fulfilled in the relationship and your boyfriend eventually learns to rise to the occasion.



Respecting him is easier than you think. Here's how:



1) Respect His Space

Stop putting your mark on him.



Some girls insist on putting something obviously girly or couple-ish (like soft toys or ornaments with love imprints) in their boyfriends' car. Some expect their boyfriends to use the heart-shaped mugs they bought in the workplace (or home, especially if the guy stays alone). Then, there are those who insist that their pictures be displayed as the wallpaper of their boyfriends' mobile phones.





If the guy is truly alright with such "markings", that's fine, If your boyfriend ever does any of these on his own initiative, congrats to you. You've definitely captured his heart completely. However, many guys are actually uncomfortable when their girlfriends propose such arrangements.



Firstly, the guy feels that his space is being invaded upon. Secondly, the girl appears insecure and needy with such requests.



Result? The guy loses some respect for his girlfriend. Though such actions will not result in break-ups (unless the requests are truly overboard and frequent), these

little actions are often tell-tale signs that you don't respect your boyfriend as much as you think you do.



2) Respect His Decisions

An average girl in Singapore is self-sufficient and her earning power can easily match her partner's. As such, reliance on her boyfriend as her future provider greatly diminishes as her income increases. The problem with this is that she starts being too confident in her own decision-making abilities and forgets to respect her boyfriend's.



Yes, the girl often proves to be right. And it's true, the female usually has the higher IQ & EQ in a relationship.



Nonetheless, she mustn't forget that eventually, the man becomes the head of the household, not the woman.



Challenging his decisions is like making a human walk around with two heads. Who truly leads? What if both heads say different things? How can anything get done properly?



Respect his decisions enough to not say, "I told you so..." - even in non-verbal cues- when his decisions end up in the wrong results.



Respect his decisions enough to not bring up his track record each time a similar decision has to be made. Treat his decisions as how you'd like yours to be treated, especially when it turns out to be wrong. Better to have a man who was wrong than a wimp who can't make decisions.



3) Respect His Time

Some girls need to have their boyfriends "report" to them by a certain time everyday. This is very suffocating to a man. Guys generally don't like to FEEL chained even though he is. Doesn't every girl want to believe that her boyfriend is hers and hers alone?



Men are generally more task-oriented and sometimes, taking time to even make a call breaks his work momentum. Normally, a guy will not tell the girl that he is feeling suffocated by her demands on his time.



Furthermore, if he loves her to a certain extent, he will not want to hurt her feelings unnecessarily.



When a girl insists on an arrangement that will encroach on a man's time, the man will very likely start feeling pressurised. If this goes on, the pleasure he feels on meeting or calling his girlfriend quickly fades. When that happens, the danger is that he may intentionally spend his time on anything and anyone else just to escape this pressure. How healthy can a relationship be if so?



4) Respect His Sharing

Many girls' knowledge are on par with or even more so than guys' these days. So what happens is that a girl becomes very quick to dispute the facts her boyfriend says and pass judgement on some experiences he shares.



When a girl does that too much, the man feels belittled and disrespected.



He starts being discouraged with talking to his girlfriend. Very soon, he shares less and less. In fact, if the girl bothered to take note, she will notice that when she is too quick to cut the man off, he usually ends up shutting up abruptly and the whole episode he was talking about suddenly stops short. That's the beginning of the end.



She should heed the warning signs before it's too late.



If you are that girl aforementioned, it's not too late. From now on, when your boyfriend tells you something that he understood wrongly, listen to the entire text first. Let him finish, respond to his conversation, then say, "By the way..." and correct his mistake (which you spotted earlier and just HAD to correct) gently. Chances are, he'll accept your correction and even thank you for it if you do as such.



5) Respect His Family

The last thing you need is for your boyfriend to be caught between a rock and a hard place. That's because you are the rock, which can be moved and REMOVED, whereas his family is the hard place, which is immovable and unchangeable.



If you don't respect his family and even manage to pull him over to your side of the argument, you need to know that you must be prepared for a LIFETIME of having to do that.



Even if he already hates his family, you don't need to intensify his negative feelings and add to his pressure by complaining about what-is-to-come before the family gathering even takes place.



Grumbling and griping about an unexpected or upcoming family event helps nothing. On the other hand, handling such affairs with grace only serves to make him appreciate you more. He may not express his appreciation of you aloud but you can be assured that your respect for his family is not without rewards.



Many married men have revealed that the girl they choose to marry over another who could have been better-looking, richer or more fun to be with, is the girl who displayed such qualities. To a man, any girl who can show respect to his family, especially if he is very close to them, for his sake is worth spending a lifetime with.



6) Respect His Friends

No matter how you dislike your boyfriend's friends, it never hurts to have a possibility of them rallying around you should he confide in them after you two have had a fight. And fights will happen.



Most men turn to their friends after they have quarrelled with the girlfriend. If such friends have never known the girl, they are likely to fully believe his side of the story and join in his girlfriend-bashing rants.



However, if your boyfriend's pals have a good impression of their buddy's girlfriend, they may even speak up for you. This can only be to your advantage. Relationships have been known to make or break due to friends' input, so don't under-estimate the power of peer influence.



If you have never done any of the above "Respects", you must be wondering how you can do all six at once. Don't fret. Any effort on your part to work on any of them will eventually be noticed by your partner. Moreover, from a start in respecting one aspect, it is much easier to transfer this respect to the other areas mentioned above.



Respect doesn't mean you have to be a doormat and allow him to step all over you. By

all means, tell him your opinion. Give him your suggestions but do so gently, calmly, respectfully, without an expected timeframe.



Give him the allowance to have his own response to your outpour of thoughts and emotions. Stop expecting change, improvement and a certain set of words or action from him. Don't disguise your demands as suggestions.



These are easily exposed when you react upon seeing that your "suggestions" were not taken.



Remember, respect should be given, not earned (by his credits). When you respect your man, you have nothing to lose. In fact, you'll have much to gain. After all, you've tried almost everything else to make your relationship work. Why not try respect from now on?





About the contributor:

Sylvher personally went from someone who was emotionally empty, dateless and hopeless about finding the right man in the past into a "highly date-able" and happily-attached woman presently.



As a Dating and Relationship Advisor to women in Singapore, she has coached many women into successfully enjoying their dating lives and entering into fulfilling relationships. She conducts trainings and personal coaching sessions (upon special requests) specially for women.



*Earn Additional Income*

http://www.simplyrichsg.com/kbc

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Why It's Up To YOU To Take "First Action" With A Sexy Woman, Fast

Do you want to know how to really frustrate a sexy woman who's attracted to you, even drive her away? It's a good idea to know this because most guys do it, not even aware they're doing it, and then are mystified when she doesn't want to spend time with them anymore.

Here it is: hold back from doing anything physical with her (touching, holding hands, or kissing) because you aren't sure if she likes you are not. This drives a sexy woman crazy because most won't initiate physical contact with a guy (although you've gotta love the rare exception), and she has to wait until he finally screws up the courage to do what she's silently begging him to do all along. For some guys this can take weeks, even months, leaving the woman they're attracted to frustrated, even pissed off.

A lot of men are afraid to initiate contact because they "aren't sure" if she likes them or not. In turn, the sexy woman begins to wonder if he's really attracted to her because he won't initiate contact. What you wind up with is two people who are really attracted to each other, but frustrated because each "isn't sure."

The solution to this is actually pretty easy, and once you do it one or two times you'll understand how much a sexy woman who is really attracted to you wants her to touch you. In fact, touch itself can create and enhance attraction.

Whenever you meet a beautiful sexy woman you're attracted to, you need to begin touching her from the very beginning in a non-threatening way that lets her know the interaction IS about attraction, and not about " platonic friends." That's the difference between a man who's "good with women" and the "nice guy." The man who's good with women instantly makes the interaction about attraction, the nice guy ("wuss") waits around wondering if she "likes him."

When I meet a beautiful sexy woman I smile my naughty boy smile, look her in the eye, and when I shake her hand, I hold onto it. When we sit down to talk I lightly touch her wrist, then if she responds positively to that I touch her shoulder when she laughs. Then I simply take her hand and hold it.

I can't remember a time when I've had a sexy woman pull away-in fact the reaction on her part is usually one of relief because she instantly knows I'm not a "nice guy" who's going to make her wait weeks before I touch her. She instantly puts me in a category of a "man who knows women," and views me through the lens of attraction.

I lead, and she follows, thankful I'm not going to frustrate her, and that I'm going to gently, yet firmly lead the attraction. I won't pressure her, and if she pulls back from an intimate touch, I pull back just a bit, then move gently forward so she can "surrender" to it, knowing she's with a strong man.

I never worry about whether or not she "likes me"-that mindset is for wusses. Instead I presume she likes me, and take the attitude that she's the one who should be concerned about whether or not I like her. She can instantly pick up on the fact I'm not at all worried if she's attracted to me or not, and that attitude is very comforting to her. She knows I won't be nervous or awkward, but instead will be confident and firm.

As long as she's engaged with me, she's interested. Even if she pushes me away, we both know it's just a test to see how I react. So, I pull away briefly, then gradually ramp back up to what we were just doing… and this time where there was pushing away, there's pulling towards, attraction where she's used to experiencing frustration with guys.

So, if there's a beautiful sexy woman who likes to spend time with you, and you wonder if she likes you or not, stop wondering and start taking action… she'll like you for sure then.

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Can Prayer Save Your Marriage?

You Only Have a 50% Chance of Succeeding in Marriage.

Divorce is the scourge of modern Western society. Dealing with broken marriages has become the norm for many of our modern-day children, leading to a seemingly unbreakable cycle of break-ups and divorce that carry over from generation to generation.

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, the divorce rates in America are as follows: 50% for first marriages, 67% for second marriages, 74% for third marriages.

What is the national divorce rate in the United States? Based on many sources and surveys, it ranges between 40% to 50%. That figure is indeed a shocking one. Only half of all marriages in the United States succeed.

The children are the hardest hit by today's society of break-ups: approximately one out of two kids will have to deal with the painful, shattering loss of a happily-married mother and father.

Marriage nowadays, at least in the United States, is basically a coin toss: either you will end up on the right side of the coin, or on the wrong side.

The Divorce Society Has Created an Entire New Industry for Psychologists

Our society of break-ups has led to the creation of a wealth of opportunity for psychologists and counselors who have made a killing out of simply listening to a couple’s troubles, and offering advice. Marriage counseling is the default solution many resort to in order to save the marriage.

Has counseling helped stem the tide of divorce? If we simply look at the empirical data, the answer is simply NO. Divorce rates continue at high rates, with no signs of slowing down.

There is a Better Way.

What then is the solution to this problem of divorce?

The key is something very basic, something often ignored, something branded as "unfashionable" by modern media: prayer.

Instead of spending hours with a marriage counselor - and spending hundreds of dollars in the process - why not just spend time in the chapel, soaking in the peace and silence offered by Christ? Why not just unload your difficulties and challenges in life to the best possible counselor?

Marriage, after all, is not just a simple contract between two people. It is a sacrament. It is a sacred vow undertaken by two people, together with God.

Marriage is a partnership with God. We must never forget that while reciting our wedding vows, we are not just professing our love for each other: we are inviting God to be at the center of our lives as a couple.

Keeping God at the center of our relationships is the best insurance we can get to ensure a happy marriage. God is the best counselor, the best psychologist any couple can possibly get. The added bonus? It's free!

What is the Catholic solution?

The rosary is next only to the Catholic Mass in terms of power and efficacy. To keep families together, it is imperative to spend time together every day: not just in family dinners, but more importantly, in family time spent praying the rosary.

It will take strong determination and discipline on the part of the father and the mother to instill this as a daily family habit. But if achieved, it will be well worth the effort.

Our Lord Himself has promised us: "Ask and you shall receive." If we ask Jesus to give us the gift of a happy family, He will grant it! But we ourselves must ask for it, every day, all together as a family.

If you would like to know how to pray the rosary, visit this site: http://www.all-about-the-virgin-mary.com/how-to-pray-the-rosary.html

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