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Saturday, March 2, 2013

★ Save Marriage from Divorce and Save your Relationship

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★ Save Marriage from Divorce and Save your Relationship

You can find additional info at the following links:

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Use Conflict Resolution to Save Your Marriage



In today’s day and age, we are increasingly challenged with conflicts in our daily life and especially in our marriage. In this article, we will explore a few ways to save your marriage by introducing some useful insights into conflict resolution.

The first and foremost concept to examine, within yourself and your spouse, is your expectations. Have you had a chance to really look into what your expectations are in your marriage? Do you know what they are? Do you think they are reasonable? You can easily surprise yourself with how easily a conflict has been resolved by simply examining your expectations and possibly adjusting them to be more realistic and reasonable.

A simple example of the above is when a spouse expects that their activities have to be done as a couple, e.g., shopping, going out, travel, social gatherings, etc. While this is certainly something meaningful, could this expectation be causing you grief? Are you having trouble with your spouse regarding issues related to this? Then you might want to further explore with the following questions: Is it reasonable for me to expect that? Is that the expectations for couples in my culture? Is that the expectation of my spouse? Does my spouse insist on the same, or do they look for opportunities to do things alone? This is a time for you to sit down and reflect. Remember, you can usually get to the right answer very quickly if you ask yourself empowering questions, instead of the other way around.

Even though one’s expectations are an aspect of communication, let’s explore the latter in more depth. The word communication is literally used everywhere nowadays, and more often than not, poor communication is usually the cause almost all grief. Even if both partners in the marriage have different opinions about something, with the right communication between them, they can simply and respectfully agree to disagree.

To explore this further, experts say that 90% of communication is non-verbal, to which a smaller portion of that goes to your voice intonations and pace, but the major portion of it goes to your beliefs and what goes on in your mind. I bet you weren’t expecting any of this were you?

Let look at an example of how the non-verbal aspect of communication can influence a situation with the same words being said. In the first example, a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers, with the pure intention that he loved this woman so much, he thought what better way to express this love than with flowers? With no other expectations, conditions, requirements, other than just loving, and the husband hands over this bunch and says: “Just because I love you”. How do you think a wife would respond to that?

On the other hand, a husband gives his wife a bunch of flowers, but he has a different intention, even though it is true that he loves her, but he also wants to get something for himself and wants to soften her up, and expects something in return for these flowers, and as he hands over the flowers he says: “Just because I love you”. Can you feel the difference between the two?

The examples above, show you that by making simple adjustments between you and yourself, you can dramatically improve the outcomes of your efforts to solve disagreements, and by engaging respect, and open mind, and a willingness to grow together, you’ll be surprised which how deep your love for one another can get, simply by overcoming obstacles, which are really opportunities to grow and expand beyond your current comfort zone to experience higher levels of marital ecstasy.

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Tips For A Happy Marriage

In January 2006, I will be married to my husband for 29 years. I knew him for 2 years before that.

Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till … well you know the rest. But for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life has shrouded its wonderful positive aspects.

Great marriages don’t just happen. You have to do something to make it last. Improve your marriage now. Remember that improvement is not a one-time event. It’s a process, so better start now.

Being happy starts within you. If you can’t be happy with yourself, then there’s no chance that you’ll be happy with someone else.

Be the best that you can be to your spouse.

The Qualities of a Successful Marriage

Love

Love is the most essential component in a relationship. It is the powerful force that binds two unique individuals together. A relationship will not start without love.

Support

Being a supportive spouse can be both a rewarding and a difficult role in a relationship. The most important aspect is being a loving presence always in your spouse’s life. Being supportive means strengthening the partner. You bear the weight. It is quite a responsibility for any one to take on. The sense of responsibility grows deeper when your spouse faces certain problems. To avoid conflict, respect your spouse’s personal decisions. Show that you have faith in your mate. Be the shoulder to lean on. Work together to maintain balance in your life together. Don’t be threatened by your spouse’s accomplishments. Be proud of your spouse’s achievements. If you want to help your spouse to recover from a difficult situation, don’t try to solve it on your own.

Tolerance

The meanings of tolerance in the dictionary are:

1. The power or capacity of an organism to tolerate unfavorable environmental conditions.

2. A disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior.

3. The act of tolerating something.

4. Willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others.

5. A permissible difference; allowing freedom to move within limits.

The given meaning has only one denominator. Patience. Without it, the word tolerance is nothing.

Always remember that it pays to be patient. As the saying goes, patience is a virtue.

Communication

All arguments can be solved through proper communication. If your partner annoys you for things he or she has done consciously or unconsciously, approach your spouse. Talk to each other. Explain that you are offended by that act. Remember that he or she can’t read minds. Don’t try to keep it inside. It will corrupt you. The annoyance will grow in your heart. Don’t wait for it to burst one day. As early as possible discuss the problem with your spouse. If a certain thing bothers you, tell it straight to your spouse. It doesn’t hurt to be straightforward. It is just a choice of words on how you will express yourself.

Realistic Expectations

Don’t expect too much from your spouse. They are also humans bound to commit mistakes.

Caring

Show your spouse that you’re concerned. During lunch, ask him or her if he or she has already eaten. Small simple things can mean a lot to them. Take time to notice your spouse. Say I love you everyday.

Nurturing

Grow with each other. Nurture intimacy. Live together and raise your children.

Sense of Humor

Laugh together. Have fun together. It is healthy to stretch out those lazy lips. Don’t be too serious. Pressures of life? Don’t let it weigh you down. Uplift your spirits high. Don’t take things too seriously. Stop trying to be perfect because no person is. Always put on a happy face! Smile immensely. It can really change the way you and other people feel. Happiness is a choice, so don’t choose to frown. A wrinkle on the face is ugly.

Smiling is considered as one of the fountains of youth. Smile wide. Make the world a brighter place to live in. Don’t forget to laugh and joke around. Be kind and smile at everyone, especially your spouse. If tensions start to grow, smile at him or her.

Laugh out loud. It’s the best medicine in town. Heal your body, mind and soul. Fill your life with laughter so that you won’t have much room left for negative emotions.

Commitment

A happy couple in a happy marriage develops bonding rituals. These become the pillars that hold up the marriage. Show your dedication every day.

Respect

Appreciate each other’s eccentricities and differences, especially as woman and man. Learn to be happily different. Learn to give and take. Practice kindness and politeness with each other in at least 95 percent of your interactions.

Know how to handle conflict

Don’t make things worse by not talking to each other. Look into your spouse’s eye when asking him or her. Don’t delay the conversation for quite a long time. This will only make the conflict worse.

Solve problems together

Resolve arguments rather than letting things fester. Speak up. It will not aggravate the situation.

Interdependence

Learn to reciprocate.

Enjoy one another

Focus on enjoying life. Live a carefree life. Think that your spouse is the one that really matters in this world. Do things together. Excite your relationship by finding new ways to enjoy each other.

Have fun together

Play in the rain together. Isn’t it great to be a child once in a while? Run like a madman while you chase each other in the rain.

If you would like to learn more, you can visit http://www.self-help-motivation-source.com/marriagesecrets.html

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Facebook: A Mine Field for Troubled Relationships


The re-acquaintance of old friends, classmates and distant relatives has been a recent aspect of our new millennium lives. The social network site of Facebook puts us in touch with sometimes hundreds of people from our current lives as well as past lives.

The sites, at first glance, give us an opportunity to "keep in touch" with many past friends, classmates and others on a scale that has never before been available. Recently, Facebook has become the second most clicked site on the internet, only outdone by Google, the number one site on the internet. Some individual's Facebook sites have thousands of pictures and as many friends.

This internet intimacy with so many has led way to what has been described as "internet betrayal" in marriages and relationships of every type. It has become apparent to us in our marriage counseling practice that it is a re-current theme in couple conflicts. Experience from our practice suggests that there are negative aspects to our primary relationships brought on by these networking sites. We decided to share marriage counseling tips with you for the use of Facebook.

The problems typically occurs when past relationships, i.e. boyfriends, girlfriends, H.S. crushes or others contact someone from their past and begin casual conversations and catching up with each others lives. As in most relationship betrayals, it usually starts with several innocent comments or exchanges with some excitement in the re-connection with someone in the past. Perhaps there is some flirting or "testing the waters" of the relationship. Social boundaries seem to more easily evaporate in the discrete environment of cyberspace.

Slowly, the innocent conversations and flirting beckon one to cross the unwritten boundary agreements between someone and their partner. These are the issues that are considered "knowledge for and between partners," and what should be kept between them. Perhaps when one party talks about marriage issues, it becomes easier for the other to openly discuss them as well.

In the context of our real world and real issues, we easily forget that Facebook and other sites most resemble a virtual reality that helps us to communicate with others. When the virtual reality takes over our "real life," and controls our "reality," difficulties usually exacerbate a troubled relationship. Temptations are always available, whether it is in our reality or in our virtual reality.

Here are some marriage counseling tips and questions to ask yourself. Is a social networking site causing problems in your relationship? Examine your purpose for logging in at 2:00 A.M. Do you protect your password for social websites from your partner? Are you having a troubled relationship with your partner and spending more time on Facebook than quality time with your partner? If you answer yes to these questions, you are at higher risk for crossing boundaries that will lead to further relationship discord.

Consider discussions within your relationship about loneliness, commitment, trust and developing common interests and activities. Have frank discussions to evaluate where you are and where you wish to be in your relationship. If you need help in this process consider seeing a professional to help sort out these issues.

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Friday, March 1, 2013

What NOT To Do To Save Your Marriage

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What NOT To Do To Save Your Marriage

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Keeping it Simple


Over the past few months, the concepts of stripping back the superfluous, simplifying and pulling apart the true meaning of integrity have been strong personal themes. For many people, there’s a drive to again inspect old patterns that continue to run happily in the background despite years of self-examination. Perhaps under the direction of a new global energy, there’s a sense of being able to lovingly let go of those things that have served us all well on one level, yet have offered excuses to stay small on another.

I came across Don Miguel Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements” the other day and it strongly resonated with this desire to pare back; to simplify; to become more real as a participant in this world and begin operating in a more authentic way.

With these 4 simple tenets, we could literally change the way we as humans operate in this world. How do they resonate with you? Please feel free to share your thoughts, we’d love to hear from you.

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

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How to Avoid Divorce - Negotiation Techniques to Stop Your Spouse From Filing For Divorce


Couples face problems all the time. Sometimes those problems lead to threats of separation and that's when things really get scary. Find out how to avoid divorce even if your spouse is adamant there's no way you can save the marriage.

When one spouse has it set in their mind that the only solution to their marital problems is divorce, it leaves the other spouse floundering. How can they save their marriage when their spouse won't agree to seek counseling or stop their race to court long enough to sort out their differences? Your spouse may be determined to get out of the marriage and you really want them to stay but it feels like you're trying to stop a speeding freight train with nothing more solid than a piece of tissue paper.

Believe it or not, you can pull out a few tactics that parents, politicians, and business leaders use all the time to encourage people to do something they don't want to do. It's called negotiation.

Negotiation is the act of achieving an agreement with another party. In the case of a potential divorce, your spouse wants out and you don't. While it appears impossible to come to any middle ground, it can be done. The trick is to negotiate not for your spouse to stop the divorce, but to negotiate for time. You want to stall the divorce from being filed so that you can carry out a side strategy for fixing your relationship. Your spouse does not have to know that yet. Focus on getting more time and slowing down any decision to file. It's much easier to get your spouse to agree to just put things off so you can think through all of the details responsibly if they believe you are being cooperative.

How to Avoid Divorce

Agree Divorce May be the Only Answer - If your spouse believes that divorce is the only solution, part of their rush to get it done is that they think you are going to make it difficult for them because they know you disagree. To gain time, let them see you agree with them that the problems in your marriage do appear to be so challenging that your spouse may be right.

This doesn't mean that you say, "Sure, you're right. Go ahead and file." Instead, say something like, "I realize our problems seem impossible and I completely understand why you've decided we should get a divorce." You don't stop there, though. The next statement you make is critical. You follow that statement with something like this, "My only concern is that I've heard about so many couples who lost a fortune because of divorce. We're better than that and I think we could find a way to work together to save ourselves a lot of headache, money, and time." Now, you're giving your spouse a reason to consider slowing down.

Establish a Team Approach - Once you've planted the seed for an alternative, agreeable approach to divorce, build an action plan together. Set the steps the two of you will research in order to find the best solution that allows the divorce to happen without losing a ton of money. For example, decide that you will research mediators together or read the same book on agreeable divorce strategies. Come up with anything that will take a week or two to cover, at the very least. There's a second strategy at play, here. Not only are you buying more time but now you're going to try to come across as an ally, a partner to your spouse. While it might seem counter-intuitive to be making plans for a divorce that you don't want to have happen, you are removing the feeling that you and your spouse are on opposite teams. This can help open the crack you need to start working out marital problems instead of divorce strategies.

Seek Relationship Help - Find a good book or counselor to help you work on your marital problems with the time you have bought yourself. You're rekindling the feeling of being a team with your spouse, now leverage that with some strategies that will show them you are the same person with whom they originally fell in love. If done correctly, your spouse will start to doubt their decision to pursue a divorce.

The more comfortable you make things for your spouse, the less likely they will be to rush their decision. Using negotiation to avoid divorce is a sensible strategy that applies time-tested techniques to a very delicate situation.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

How to save my Marriage alone Help

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How respecting your boyfriend can save your relationship

by Sylvher



Truth be told, many girls start off a relationship with respect for her man. However, along the way, as she discovers more imperfections in him, she loses respect for him.



When something disappointing about her boyfriend is discovered, a girl makes a grave mistake (usually on a sub-conscious level), thinking, "I'll wait until he changes THAT thing before I can respect him."



Such a decision is usually the start of an irreversible journey of discoveries of more flaws and problems with the man and a downward spiral towards more resentment, greater dissatisfaction and less fulfilment in the relationship. Thus, these very same girls wait for far too long and the respect that she has tagged to his change never surfaces.



If respect for your boyfriend is tagged to a condition, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. In fact, girls who do that almost always end up breaking off the relationship.



Why wait for him to change? Why not just respect the man in spite of his flaws? Chances are, if you do that, you'll find yourself more fulfilled in the relationship and your boyfriend eventually learns to rise to the occasion.



Respecting him is easier than you think. Here's how:



1) Respect His Space

Stop putting your mark on him.



Some girls insist on putting something obviously girly or couple-ish (like soft toys or ornaments with love imprints) in their boyfriends' car. Some expect their boyfriends to use the heart-shaped mugs they bought in the workplace (or home, especially if the guy stays alone). Then, there are those who insist that their pictures be displayed as the wallpaper of their boyfriends' mobile phones.





If the guy is truly alright with such "markings", that's fine, If your boyfriend ever does any of these on his own initiative, congrats to you. You've definitely captured his heart completely. However, many guys are actually uncomfortable when their girlfriends propose such arrangements.



Firstly, the guy feels that his space is being invaded upon. Secondly, the girl appears insecure and needy with such requests.



Result? The guy loses some respect for his girlfriend. Though such actions will not result in break-ups (unless the requests are truly overboard and frequent), these

little actions are often tell-tale signs that you don't respect your boyfriend as much as you think you do.



2) Respect His Decisions

An average girl in Singapore is self-sufficient and her earning power can easily match her partner's. As such, reliance on her boyfriend as her future provider greatly diminishes as her income increases. The problem with this is that she starts being too confident in her own decision-making abilities and forgets to respect her boyfriend's.



Yes, the girl often proves to be right. And it's true, the female usually has the higher IQ & EQ in a relationship.



Nonetheless, she mustn't forget that eventually, the man becomes the head of the household, not the woman.



Challenging his decisions is like making a human walk around with two heads. Who truly leads? What if both heads say different things? How can anything get done properly?



Respect his decisions enough to not say, "I told you so..." - even in non-verbal cues- when his decisions end up in the wrong results.



Respect his decisions enough to not bring up his track record each time a similar decision has to be made. Treat his decisions as how you'd like yours to be treated, especially when it turns out to be wrong. Better to have a man who was wrong than a wimp who can't make decisions.



3) Respect His Time

Some girls need to have their boyfriends "report" to them by a certain time everyday. This is very suffocating to a man. Guys generally don't like to FEEL chained even though he is. Doesn't every girl want to believe that her boyfriend is hers and hers alone?



Men are generally more task-oriented and sometimes, taking time to even make a call breaks his work momentum. Normally, a guy will not tell the girl that he is feeling suffocated by her demands on his time.



Furthermore, if he loves her to a certain extent, he will not want to hurt her feelings unnecessarily.



When a girl insists on an arrangement that will encroach on a man's time, the man will very likely start feeling pressurised. If this goes on, the pleasure he feels on meeting or calling his girlfriend quickly fades. When that happens, the danger is that he may intentionally spend his time on anything and anyone else just to escape this pressure. How healthy can a relationship be if so?



4) Respect His Sharing

Many girls' knowledge are on par with or even more so than guys' these days. So what happens is that a girl becomes very quick to dispute the facts her boyfriend says and pass judgement on some experiences he shares.



When a girl does that too much, the man feels belittled and disrespected.



He starts being discouraged with talking to his girlfriend. Very soon, he shares less and less. In fact, if the girl bothered to take note, she will notice that when she is too quick to cut the man off, he usually ends up shutting up abruptly and the whole episode he was talking about suddenly stops short. That's the beginning of the end.



She should heed the warning signs before it's too late.



If you are that girl aforementioned, it's not too late. From now on, when your boyfriend tells you something that he understood wrongly, listen to the entire text first. Let him finish, respond to his conversation, then say, "By the way..." and correct his mistake (which you spotted earlier and just HAD to correct) gently. Chances are, he'll accept your correction and even thank you for it if you do as such.



5) Respect His Family

The last thing you need is for your boyfriend to be caught between a rock and a hard place. That's because you are the rock, which can be moved and REMOVED, whereas his family is the hard place, which is immovable and unchangeable.



If you don't respect his family and even manage to pull him over to your side of the argument, you need to know that you must be prepared for a LIFETIME of having to do that.



Even if he already hates his family, you don't need to intensify his negative feelings and add to his pressure by complaining about what-is-to-come before the family gathering even takes place.



Grumbling and griping about an unexpected or upcoming family event helps nothing. On the other hand, handling such affairs with grace only serves to make him appreciate you more. He may not express his appreciation of you aloud but you can be assured that your respect for his family is not without rewards.



Many married men have revealed that the girl they choose to marry over another who could have been better-looking, richer or more fun to be with, is the girl who displayed such qualities. To a man, any girl who can show respect to his family, especially if he is very close to them, for his sake is worth spending a lifetime with.



6) Respect His Friends

No matter how you dislike your boyfriend's friends, it never hurts to have a possibility of them rallying around you should he confide in them after you two have had a fight. And fights will happen.



Most men turn to their friends after they have quarrelled with the girlfriend. If such friends have never known the girl, they are likely to fully believe his side of the story and join in his girlfriend-bashing rants.



However, if your boyfriend's pals have a good impression of their buddy's girlfriend, they may even speak up for you. This can only be to your advantage. Relationships have been known to make or break due to friends' input, so don't under-estimate the power of peer influence.



If you have never done any of the above "Respects", you must be wondering how you can do all six at once. Don't fret. Any effort on your part to work on any of them will eventually be noticed by your partner. Moreover, from a start in respecting one aspect, it is much easier to transfer this respect to the other areas mentioned above.



Respect doesn't mean you have to be a doormat and allow him to step all over you. By

all means, tell him your opinion. Give him your suggestions but do so gently, calmly, respectfully, without an expected timeframe.



Give him the allowance to have his own response to your outpour of thoughts and emotions. Stop expecting change, improvement and a certain set of words or action from him. Don't disguise your demands as suggestions.



These are easily exposed when you react upon seeing that your "suggestions" were not taken.



Remember, respect should be given, not earned (by his credits). When you respect your man, you have nothing to lose. In fact, you'll have much to gain. After all, you've tried almost everything else to make your relationship work. Why not try respect from now on?





About the contributor:

Sylvher personally went from someone who was emotionally empty, dateless and hopeless about finding the right man in the past into a "highly date-able" and happily-attached woman presently.



As a Dating and Relationship Advisor to women in Singapore, she has coached many women into successfully enjoying their dating lives and entering into fulfilling relationships. She conducts trainings and personal coaching sessions (upon special requests) specially for women.



*Earn Additional Income*

http://www.simplyrichsg.com/kbc


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Why It's Up To YOU To Take "First Action" With A Sexy Woman, Fast

Do you want to know how to really frustrate a sexy woman who's attracted to you, even drive her away? It's a good idea to know this because most guys do it, not even aware they're doing it, and then are mystified when she doesn't want to spend time with them anymore.

Here it is: hold back from doing anything physical with her (touching, holding hands, or kissing) because you aren't sure if she likes you are not. This drives a sexy woman crazy because most won't initiate physical contact with a guy (although you've gotta love the rare exception), and she has to wait until he finally screws up the courage to do what she's silently begging him to do all along. For some guys this can take weeks, even months, leaving the woman they're attracted to frustrated, even pissed off.

A lot of men are afraid to initiate contact because they "aren't sure" if she likes them or not. In turn, the sexy woman begins to wonder if he's really attracted to her because he won't initiate contact. What you wind up with is two people who are really attracted to each other, but frustrated because each "isn't sure."

The solution to this is actually pretty easy, and once you do it one or two times you'll understand how much a sexy woman who is really attracted to you wants her to touch you. In fact, touch itself can create and enhance attraction.

Whenever you meet a beautiful sexy woman you're attracted to, you need to begin touching her from the very beginning in a non-threatening way that lets her know the interaction IS about attraction, and not about " platonic friends." That's the difference between a man who's "good with women" and the "nice guy." The man who's good with women instantly makes the interaction about attraction, the nice guy ("wuss") waits around wondering if she "likes him."

When I meet a beautiful sexy woman I smile my naughty boy smile, look her in the eye, and when I shake her hand, I hold onto it. When we sit down to talk I lightly touch her wrist, then if she responds positively to that I touch her shoulder when she laughs. Then I simply take her hand and hold it.

I can't remember a time when I've had a sexy woman pull away-in fact the reaction on her part is usually one of relief because she instantly knows I'm not a "nice guy" who's going to make her wait weeks before I touch her. She instantly puts me in a category of a "man who knows women," and views me through the lens of attraction.

I lead, and she follows, thankful I'm not going to frustrate her, and that I'm going to gently, yet firmly lead the attraction. I won't pressure her, and if she pulls back from an intimate touch, I pull back just a bit, then move gently forward so she can "surrender" to it, knowing she's with a strong man.

I never worry about whether or not she "likes me"-that mindset is for wusses. Instead I presume she likes me, and take the attitude that she's the one who should be concerned about whether or not I like her. She can instantly pick up on the fact I'm not at all worried if she's attracted to me or not, and that attitude is very comforting to her. She knows I won't be nervous or awkward, but instead will be confident and firm.

As long as she's engaged with me, she's interested. Even if she pushes me away, we both know it's just a test to see how I react. So, I pull away briefly, then gradually ramp back up to what we were just doing… and this time where there was pushing away, there's pulling towards, attraction where she's used to experiencing frustration with guys.

So, if there's a beautiful sexy woman who likes to spend time with you, and you wonder if she likes you or not, stop wondering and start taking action… she'll like you for sure then.

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Can Prayer Save Your Marriage?


You Only Have a 50% Chance of Succeeding in Marriage.

Divorce is the scourge of modern Western society. Dealing with broken marriages has become the norm for many of our modern-day children, leading to a seemingly unbreakable cycle of break-ups and divorce that carry over from generation to generation.

According to the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, the divorce rates in America are as follows: 50% for first marriages, 67% for second marriages, 74% for third marriages.

What is the national divorce rate in the United States? Based on many sources and surveys, it ranges between 40% to 50%. That figure is indeed a shocking one. Only half of all marriages in the United States succeed.

The children are the hardest hit by today's society of break-ups: approximately one out of two kids will have to deal with the painful, shattering loss of a happily-married mother and father.

Marriage nowadays, at least in the United States, is basically a coin toss: either you will end up on the right side of the coin, or on the wrong side.

The Divorce Society Has Created an Entire New Industry for Psychologists

Our society of break-ups has led to the creation of a wealth of opportunity for psychologists and counselors who have made a killing out of simply listening to a couple’s troubles, and offering advice. Marriage counseling is the default solution many resort to in order to save the marriage.

Has counseling helped stem the tide of divorce? If we simply look at the empirical data, the answer is simply NO. Divorce rates continue at high rates, with no signs of slowing down.

There is a Better Way.

What then is the solution to this problem of divorce?

The key is something very basic, something often ignored, something branded as "unfashionable" by modern media: prayer.

Instead of spending hours with a marriage counselor - and spending hundreds of dollars in the process - why not just spend time in the chapel, soaking in the peace and silence offered by Christ? Why not just unload your difficulties and challenges in life to the best possible counselor?

Marriage, after all, is not just a simple contract between two people. It is a sacrament. It is a sacred vow undertaken by two people, together with God.

Marriage is a partnership with God. We must never forget that while reciting our wedding vows, we are not just professing our love for each other: we are inviting God to be at the center of our lives as a couple.

Keeping God at the center of our relationships is the best insurance we can get to ensure a happy marriage. God is the best counselor, the best psychologist any couple can possibly get. The added bonus? It's free!

What is the Catholic solution?

The rosary is next only to the Catholic Mass in terms of power and efficacy. To keep families together, it is imperative to spend time together every day: not just in family dinners, but more importantly, in family time spent praying the rosary.

It will take strong determination and discipline on the part of the father and the mother to instill this as a daily family habit. But if achieved, it will be well worth the effort.

Our Lord Himself has promised us: "Ask and you shall receive." If we ask Jesus to give us the gift of a happy family, He will grant it! But we ourselves must ask for it, every day, all together as a family.

If you would like to know how to pray the rosary, visit this site: http://www.all-about-the-virgin-mary.com/how-to-pray-the-rosary.html

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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

For Men! save your marriage and stop divorce without counseling

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Top 20 Questions For Couples - Get To Know Questions For Dating Couples

Have you been dating someone special for a little while? Has your relationship passed the casual dating stage? Possibly thoughts of matrimony have even been on your mind. If your answer to these questions was 'yes', it would be a good idea for you to ask each other probing questions that could help you to get to know each other more completely.

To get you started on this activity, following are my top 20 questions for couples:

1. What is the one thing you would change about yourself if you had the power to do so?

2. If you could change any one thing about me, what would that be?

3. What, more than anything else, makes you feel loved?

4. What is your definition of success?

5. What would you change first if you were the king (or queen) of the world?

6. What historical event would you like to witness if you could go back in time?

7. If you were able to travel back in time, what famous historical event would you like to change?

8. What bugs you? (Something people do that REALLY annoys you)?

9. Where in the world would you most want to live?

10. What is the most important thing you want to achieve before you die?

11. Have you learned any lessons from past relationships? What were they?

12. Do you seek certain attributes in a person? What are those?

13. In your judgement, what are your best attributes?

14. What's the most reckless thing you've ever done?

15. What stands out as your most memorable moment?

16. How would you spend the money if you won the lottery?

17. What three items would you take along to a deserted island?

18. Is there another period in history that you would have liked to be born in? When?

19. What are you most passionate about?

20. What's one place you haven't been to yet that you really would like to go?

If my top 20 questions for couples inspire you to engage in meaningful dialogue with your lover, then this article has accomplished its mission. I'm sure you can think of some more "get to know" questions, and even some fun questions for couples. I suggest open-ended questions rather than "yes' or 'no' questions, because they stimulate more in-depth discussion. Putting forth some effort to better understand each other now will have long term rewards for both of you.

For more tips that will help you to build a lasting relationship see my sig below.

Maybe you've seen Michael Webb on Oprah. His best seller "1000 Questions For Couples" is the most complete book of questions that couples should ask before getting married. You can read the review here:
1000 Questions For Couples
Have you considered premarital counseling? Read this: Pre Marriage Counseling: Do I Need It?


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Johnny

How to Tell If Your Ex Still Likes You 7 signs your ex still likes you

After a break up, you still couldn't forget your ex right? Yeah it happens to many people and a lot of couples are joining back every minute. Do you like to know whether your ex still likes you, just check out these 7 signs from your ex.Sign #1: Your ex t... Read >

How to Get Ex Boyfriend back 3 steps to get ex boyfriend back

To get an ex boyfriend back, you must first know the reason why he left. He may give you a lot of reasons to justify the break up, but there is one universal reason why men leave women. Whatever the specific reason, your boyfriend may be giving; it will a... Read >

How Do I Know If My Ex Girlfriend Still Loves Me

How can we ever understand the mind of these girls? Believe me man, its really very tough. But, there are certain common psychological features which will be common for all the girls. Based on these psychological issues of a girl's mind, I have designed s... Read >

How Do I Get an Ex Girlfriend Back If She Has A Boyfriend

Most of the girls get themselves some boyfriend instantly after fresh break up. These guys can be called as "Rebound boyfriends". Girls do this mainly to get themselves some ego boost. They get a boyfriend just in the hopes of appearing that they can live... Read >

Do Ex Boyfriends ever come back? Yes, get your ex boyfriend back now

Your love was so intimate and fruitful that you want your ex boyfriend back. But do ex boyfriends ever come back. Yes they do comeback if you follow the correct approach and press his psychological hot points. Here are 5 simple tips to get your ex boyfrie... Read >

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★For Men! Save Marriage Stop Divorce without Marriage Counseling Help to save your marriage

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★For Men! Save Marriage Stop Divorce without Marriage Counseling Help to save your marriage

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Monday, February 25, 2013

Saving Marriage with Loyalty to Your Partner


Loyalty is one of the highest sentiments and abilities within the human race. Loyalty to your partner for life is the very basics of the wedding vows. Giving yourself in loyalty to you spouse with end up saving your marriage from a lot of heart aches.

Too many times people try to gain the love of another by money, things, gifts, and even activities. Giving of these things does not bring real happiness and joy. A true marriage will never be successful built solely upon what material things you give each other.

Loyalty has binding power and in today’s world that is what every marriage needs. A marriage that is bound together with the loyalty of the partners is a strong union that can withstand the troubles that will come.

Marital loyalty is accompanied with blessings of fellowship between the partners, sharing of responsibilities, and sharing in the joys of marriage. Loyalty is a very important part of the foundation of the marriage and home.

Couples who drift away from loyalty in the marriage may be able to hide it from family and friends outside of the home but the children in the home will see this very quickly by lack of care to each other and lack of affection in the home.

Loyalty is much like a beautiful flower garden, it must have attention to flourish. Loyalty is not the responsibility of one partner it is also to be a shared responsibility.

Your marriage problem just might be a loyalty problem. Walk into the garden of loyalty and see if there are some stones that need to be removed, hard soil that needs to be loosened, weeds to be pulled, or does it need some water. Tend to this garden and watch loyalty and your marriage flourish.
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Save My Marriage Today Review - Marriage Problems and Solutions

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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Free Public Divorce Records Of Illinois 2011


With an increasing quantity of separating couples these days, acquiring Illinois divorce records has become a must. Obtaining this information is important for the reduction of the number of divorce instances. The truth is, individuals will be able to avoid painful heartbreaks that are normally caused by this occurrence if they had only taken cautious measures before deciding to marry.

The State of Illinois now houses a total number of over 12 million people; the 5th largest population in the entire America. In parallel to that, a remarkably huge rate of cases for separation is likewise noticeable in this region. Consequently, retrieving its corresponding accounts from government agencies is not as simplified as seeking for other files like Marriage, Birth and Death or not as easy as looking for it at other states in general.

Individuals who want to get a copy of this file can make a request at the Division of Vital Records of the Illinois Department of Public Health. It provides divorce records of various split-ups that happened from 1962 up to the present time. Going to this agency is a wise thing to do if the place where the breakup was granted is unknown. As a norm, this document is indexed through the husband’s name only and can be obtained for a small fee.

Official copies of these files can be taken from the circuit court clerk in the state where the dissolution of marriage was granted. A small amount of fee is necessary for every copy, payable via money orders, certified or personal checks to the Department of Public Health of the State. Requesting for it online can also be done, but an additional credit card handling fee is usually involved.

Seeking for this sort of file these days is no nonsense. Those who are eager to be in a relationship should spare some time to check this information and investigate the personal background of their prospective partners. Additionally, it is significant to go over this file before you tie the knot with someone to avoid having regrets at the end of the day. The State laws also order that those who were previously divorced should have this document on hand before they are allowed to marry again.

Luckily, the public has the right to acquire and make use of Divorce Court Records nowadays. Normally, it is kept abreast at the community courthouse where the entire process was conducted. This data is governed by the laws of the state and saved at the state repositories. Essentially, this covers the individual’s personal details, their parent’s and children’s names, the where, when and why of the separation and others. Now, what you need to get these records immediately is a computer with internet connection and the required small amount of charge.
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How Do You Get Your Husband Back If He Filed For Divorce?

Filing for divorce is a big decision, and if your husband made it then he probably has some big reasons. Right now, if you want to get your husband back you have to be careful and know exactly what are you doing or you will ruin the only chance to get your marriage fixed. I have some important tips for you!



You have to show him you can be a better wife because right now he probably understood that you are not the right woman for him. It can happen from any reason, and your job right now is to find out the exact reason and the way to resolve it!



The main reason men decide to file for divorce is that they don't feel appreciated and loved by their wives. The boring routine of the marriage can kill them - they come from work, watch TV, go to sleep, get up in the morning... it's never enough but some of them just can't take it any longer...your husband is probably one of them!



If he found another woman and he leaves you for her, it only shows that I am right...but it's also makes your job easier. To get your husband back from another woman it's simple, because that way you know what exactly he wants - love, romance, more sex and excitement! I guess you remember your first year together and how he felt about you. You can make him fall in love with you again and when you'll succeed - he'll leave his lover for good!



I hope I helped you a little bit, thanks for reading and good luck!





Want to know what you can do to get your husband back after he filed for divorce? Click here to find out how you can get your husband back and save your marriage even if it looks like he doesn't want you back!



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How to save my Marriage Now after separation

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How to save my Marriage Now after separation


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